A repeat of a beneficial meme from a year ago while I procrastinate studying today.

Edit: Now I'll just make it permanatly up here in case anyone else stumbles across it.

Music Swapping Meme:

1. Request music.
---A. You cannot specifically request a band, song, or genre.
---B. You have to go by taste, color, mood, texture, memories, or something equally creative.

2. I'll post music.
---A. I'll pick from my own collection whatever best fits your request. I have an extremely large collection of music that is very eclectic and has a wide range of genres.
---B. It will not be permanently available.
---C. Not posting whole albums, just individual songs.

3. You enjoy music.

4. If you so desire, post and repeat the cycle of lame ass piracy.

My grandmother called me up today and I ended up feeling like shit that I don't have a job.

A year ago, the plan was to go into law school and move away and be the amazing girl everyone in the family thinks I am. But school, life, and depression wore me down to a bloody stump of a functional human being. My dad and his fiance sensed this and suggested I take a year off and stay at home. Going into law school the way I am now would have caused me to crash and burn quickly.

That seems like a great idea. I moved back, my my room in order, and have started studying for the LSATs again and will be reapplying during the fall.

But I'm supposed to get a job. For the first couple weeks, I didn't really take my job hunt seriously. But lately I have been. I've been screwed over a bunch. I'm overqualified, underqualified, not enough experience, not planning a long term career with their company, or "just not quite right" for employers. Twice I've been scheduled for an interview, only to be told at the end of the interview that they have already filled the position. Great planning right there.

I've been a little frustrated but not totally discouraged. Hey it's a tough time. I'll find something eventually.

But my grandmother calls me up today. She asks why haven't I applied to work in schools (they haven't called me back), why haven't I applied for a teaching position (didn't even occur to me), why haven't I picked up something in fast food or walmart (because I don't want a job that will make me hate life even more), etc. Basically, she assumes I'm just fucking around. She then goes on and on about how some people she knows have spent a couple years looking for a job, so I'm only getting started! (yay).

Eventually I told her I sort of didn't feel like talking about job hunting right now but then she ran out of stuff to talk to me about. Great.

After I got off the phone and cried. I already feel like a huge fucking loser, having struggled so hard in school the last semester and moving back in with my father. I'm not making money nor doing anything prestigious, so I'm worthless in the eyes of my family.

It's not like I'm just playing video games all day. I've been working out and studying and reading. I've been cooking meals and cleaning the house, purging old things and integrating my dad's fiance's thing into our house. I've been doing minor house repairs or keeping appointments with repairmen for my dad. I've been looking after our animals and sewing. I've been keeping myself busy so I don't feel like a terrible leech.

After all that, I walked to the store to distract myself and to break into a pair of shoes. My left shoe was a bit lose and rubbed my heel until blood coated the back of my shoe.

Sorry. I'm just having a bad day.

Nothing bad is going on. I just wanted to post this gif.

Oh by the way, I finished college.

Now I'm graduating and will be moving home today.

SWEET

Ayn Rand and art deco go hand in hand. I only know that because all her book covers are in a very weird art deco style. However, I associate art deco with 20's and 30's, rather than Rand's prominent decades of the 50s and 60s. I don't think the art style truly reflects her philosophy.

I propose that on every cover of Atlas Shrugged, McDonald's should be incorporated somehow.

Now you might say, "WTF?" But if you think about, McDonald's has been a brilliant company that gets people to eat food that's not worth a fraction of what people are willing to pay for it. It basically wins at capitalism. Ayn Rand would be proud.


On that note, my allergies have been killing me. THE END.

live life; do stupid things

"Would I be cockblocking if I pulled up a chair between you and Cory?"

"Wait, whose cock you would be blocking exactly? You weren't clear enough on that."

I am always both upset and pleasantly surprised when I rediscover that my heart is nowhere near as logical as I like to think it is.

While ago, I was hanging out with some friends in our study lounge, as we all usually do. After a while a familiar face sat down with us. An awkward girl named Sue. She usually sits down with us for a while, listens, says nothing, and then suddenly gets up and leaves.

For whatever reason, I say the word fuck in a conversation.

She looks very stern and says nervously, "Don't say that word?"

Anyone who has met me knows what is coming. "What? Fuck? Fucking fuckers fuck the fucking fuckity fucking fuck." And so on for the next minute or so.

The conversation moves on.

Ash mentions a local story about a man who kept getting caught while having sex with his goat. We all laugh because how many times does he have to get caught before his goat gets taken away.

But not Sue. She puts her hands over her ears and says, "Guys, no sex before marriage!"

Not everyone caught it but it was hilarious to hear this. Because we're talking about bestiality and she's concerned about the premarital sex aspect?

"... And our dance instructor is really gay. I mean, really really obviously gay. He's got frosted hair, wears a lot of purple, and swishes his hips when he walks. A walking stereotype in real life."

"Dad, the technical term for that is 'flaming'. "

"He was so flaming he could catch fire."


Oh, Dad. You're great.

I'm calling it: Obama's kids need a corgi.

OH MY GOD

OH HOLY SHIT

THIS IS AMAZING


On a more calm note, I'm pretty relieved. There. It's done with. I don't feel compelled to debate politics and now can chill for a while on that front. This election just felt insane. It didn't feel like a real election; it felt like a crazy movie.

And I'm amused by the fact that Indiana's polls closed over 4 hours ago (why do our polls close so early compared to everyone else?) and they still haven't called the state because it's too damn close.

In summary:

THIS ELECTION

it's been insane

PS: Ha ha to everyone who had to stand in line. Early voting kicks ass!

Oh the ups and downs of my life.

LSAT SCORE: BLOWN COCKS

152. 100% mediocre and average. Months of studying and I did worse than my first practice test. FUCK. I spent a whole weekend crying. But, like a battered woman from a Lifetime movie, I pulled myself up, put make up over the bruises, and signed up for the Dec. LSATs. I'm putting in my applications, hoping to swing into some early admissions, but now I have the worst writer's block for my essays. DAMNIT IT ALL TOO HELL!

To be honest, I refuse to let myself get to worried. If I don't make it into atleast a Tier 2 school, then I'll work for a couple years. Yeah, I know, I should not leave the cocoon of academia right now, but frankly I'm tired of school and will have the option of going back in a year or two. I am not getting married for a long time, will not be bogged down by family or kids, and am free to do whatever the hell I feel like.

That's killer optimism for you.

Other than that, life ain't so bad.

Fall is beautiful, my favorite time of year. Ladybugs have infest my room, which isn't so great, but I'm thrilled to be not so hot and sweaty every time I go outside, even if the weather is jumping between a high of 40 and 70 every other day.

Halloween was so-so. I had the greatest costume of my life (bavarian oktoberfest dress) but all the Halloween parties are on Nov. 7. WHAT IS THIS SHIT.

I'm in my senior year of school. Applied for graduation already and tomorrow I'm registering for the last semester of classes for my undergrad. Senior portrait has been taken, Christmas wish list is filled with practical items, and I can't stop daydreaming about having my own place to live, even if it is a shoebox sized room. Wow. College blew by fast, but I think I'm ready to be a pseudo-adult now.

Someone made fun of me for liking Depeche Mode.

I was incredulous. You can't make fun of someone for liking Depeche Mode. You can't even dislike Depech Mode. It's like making fun of someone who listened to David Bowie or someone who drank water. Why would someone do such a stupid thing? Depeche Mode, David Bowie, and water are all very cool.

I refuse to talk about the LSATs because I'm tired and I don't want to think about because it makes me freak out and I wish every single person in the US would stop calling me and asking, 'So what do you think you got?' because how the fuck am I gonna know until three weeks go by.

No, I don't want to talk about it. I'm cranky, grandma.

PS: I'll talk about it tomorrow.

The LSATS are tomorrow.

Today I've been chiling out and not practicing. I've been fluctuating between sleepily watch internet videos/Yahtzee game reviews and then suddenly panicking at the thought of tomorrow morning taking a test that will determine the rest of my life which makes me want to wee in terror.

fuck fuck fuck FUCK!

no, calm down. I'm fine... I'm gonna go fine...

I really don't have an opnion on the bailout or anything to do with the economy (lol student college bubble), bu I have to laugh at CNN's front page: it's just facepalm.jpg

NOT SENSATIONALIST OR ANYTHING



How you can avoid the financial crisis:

johnny sack: Can someone explain in layman's terms what it means if this bailout doesn't go through (as it is now)?

Tars Tarkas: Buy stock in photos of facepalms.

Jehovah's Witnesses have resorted to phoen banking because they are calling and they will not stop calling.

"Honey, you need to know the Savior-"

"I KNOW! I'M ALREADY A MEMBER OF A CHURCH! I SAID THAT TWICE ALREADY!"

Life has been exploding every step of the way for the past few weeks. Rather like a mine field but instead of loosing a leg I loose my cool piece by piece. I don't feel like posting specifics but it's been a series of serious incidents, work sucking, drama llama attacks, family drama, LSAT making me shit myself in fear, the computer crashing, and unwelcome surprises. I've not been hanging out with people or calling my friends (sorry Lanna!) because the few free moments I have I'm too tired to really want to interact with people. When it rains, it pours.

That isn't to say that there haven't been good moments. My sister got a new itty bitty one month old kitten named Mr. Monk and I go to spend a whole evening playing with him and Penguin (who is literally a dozen times the kitten's size). I think I may actually be ready for the LSATs. I finally finished Bioshock. Justin and I have done a lot of talking and realized we really are meant for each other. To relax, I've been following fall fashions and am happy of the many pretty clothes I actually will spend money on.

As of right now, I'm holed up in one of the library's prized isolation chambers (AKA collaboration study rooms), listening to Myst soundtracks while I half heatedly write psychology outlines and do crap in APA format because I guess MLA style just isn't good enough for those psych bastards. Drinking coffee, too. I'm not pulling an all nighter, just a "dick around on the internet and then finally force myself to finish at 2AM" nighter.

My life will come back together in a couple weeks. Just gotta get through the LSAT and then I can relax and focus on my applications instead. *sigh* This is never gonna end.

Things my boyfriend and I have come to blows* during or while arguing about:

- Which is a better movie series: Alien or Predator?

- Dynasty Warriors 5

- Stirrup pants

- Pistachio nuts

*By blows I mean I hit him in the arm and he thinks it's cute then gently bats my weak arms away. Goddamnit my lack of upper body strength!